End Soteria are:

Shaun - Lead Guitars and Viking Claw:

We found Shaun in a drunken coma in a Norwich wheelie-bin. We roused him from his numb slumber with the promise of more whisky. He makes his hand into this black metal claw thing which he uses to scare old ladies into giving him the contents of their drinks cabinets, and looks like he's done more than his fair share of pillaging.
Frog - Rhythm Guitars and Aslan Power:

Frog appeared out of someone's wardrobe one day, after slaying Aslan and stealing his mane to give him super lion-based metal powers, not to mention a congratulatory noshing-off off of the Ice Queen woman. His blood is 74% ale and 22% gin. People think the other 4% is pube hair, floating around inside his scrawny frame, capturing oxygen. He likes science.
Lee - Bass:

Lee joins us because no-one else would. This is good for us, because Lee is one of those bastards that plays the guitar better than the band's other guitarists, and he chooses to play bass. What the fuck. He also likes reptiles and taxidermy. He could talk to you about cloacas for ages. With a creepy smile on his face.

Joe - Drums and New Virgin Blood:

Joe loves drumming. Which is good, because we needed a new drummer and he can do the drums. He's also quite handsome, if you like that kind of thing. If not, then tough shit, because we haven't got a decent picture of him yet. Well, I went through his Facebook and pasted his head onto our group shot. Skills.
Rick - Vocals and that:

Rick shouts a lot. He looks like the kind of person that would kill someone and wear their skin for a week, just for a laugh. However, this simply isn't true. He's a cuddly bear, and you can often find him selling homemade daisy chains on Norwich market, or dancing along to a catchy medley performed by Puppet Man whilst knitting socks for orphans.